It was in that room that I was taken back. I don’t know if it was the red and yellow lighting against the darkness, or the eerie glow from the television. It was the 90’s. I was 11. I was with my bestfriends in the basement, and it didn’t matter that they were all guys. A strange feeling came over me.. like impending doom. Though, for some reason it didn’t matter either. They happily played video games as I observed.
Cut to the stairs. I guess we weren’t in a basement after all. I tried to work up the courage to get down them. Legs shaking. “I can’t.. I just can’t do it,” I proclaimed. Two hands appeared around my waist, “Come on.” One hand on the railing, one on the wall I managed to wobble my way down. Paint chips in my nails from the wall, I flicked them out. I wasn’t the only one. “Dude.. I couldn’t get down. Got paint in my nails.” We were amused.
All five of us in the car. Me in the back, squished in the middle. Flailing back and forth between the two guys. The driver swerving. On the main road, tailing cars, more swerving. A voice from the front, “Chh. This is your pilot speaking. Chh. Get ready for some turbulence.” Something to that effect. Tires squeeling, trying to make the light. I look down, no seatbelt. More radio voices back and forth. Suddenly I was in Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas. This was bat country. “Dude.. you just need to pull over. Right now. Just do it.”
I’m tripping hard.
He cooperates. “It’s okay.. I’ll just drive slower.” “No, you don’t understand.” I get out. I’m crying, I can feel the wetness on my cheeks. I can’t stop it. It just feels like rain. Five minutes go by, they’re trying to comfort me. “We’re going to be late.” I tell them to let me sit in front. With the music blasting and the windows down I feel much better. I pass out. Suddenly I’m in a theatre, we’re sitting up front. I don’t remember getting there. It feels like we’re in a studio and all the people in the background sound like a laugh track. The movie was inexplicably funny, if only I could remember why.
Back to the basement, I’m flying. I lie back and stare at the ceiling. I’m out once again.